Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween....

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I'm So Proud....




She's still loving Halloween (unlike her mother....bah humbug....)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving....



17 Ways To Cook A Turkey

1. Go buy a turkey
2. Take a drink of whisky
3. Put turkey in the oven
4. Take another 2 drinks of whisky
5. Set the degree at 375 ovens
6. Take 3 more whiskys of drink
7. Turk the bastey
8. Whisky another bottle of get
9. Ponder the meat thermometer
10. Glass yourself a pour of whisky
11. Bake the whisky for 4 hours
12. Take the oven out of the turkey
13. Floor the turkey up off of the pick
14. Turk the carvey
15. Get yourself another scottle of botch
16. Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
17. Bless the dinner and pass out

Sunday, October 4, 2009

How to Give a 49 Year Old Mother a Heart Attack on Her Birthday



1. Let 15 year old daughter and 16 year old French Exchange student go up gondola at Blue Mountain, alone, to take pictures at top of mountain.

2. Wait at bottom with husband, sitting in chairs in nice, warm weather.

3. Notice sky getting darker. Man comes over and says "there's a big thunderstorm coming".

4. Call daughter on cellphone to tell her to get back down to the bottom.

5. Daughter says they're on their way.

6. Mom & Dad wait and wait. Gondola seems like it's moving in slow motion as sky gets darker and wind picks up.

7. Mom & Dad wait and wait.

8. Finally, see girls coming S-L-O-W-L-Y down mountain in METAL gondola as we hear thunder in background.

9. Mom anxiously waits at bottom, pacing, then gondola STOPS. Mom hears man who operates gondola casually say "Oh, the power went out". Mom sees daughter and friend halfway down the hill, as storm rapidly approaches.

10. Gondola starts again, girls descend S-L-O-W-L-Y, gondola stops AGAIN. Another power outage.

11. Gondola starts once again, girls get to bottom (Mom is sprouting new grey hairs by the second) Mom is preparing speech - "Gee, I'm so sorry about your daughter Mrs. French-person. She was electrocuted in a gondola at Blue Mountain! No, I don't know what I was thinking sending them up in a thunderstorm..."

12. Girls get off gondola and sprint to shelter seconds before the storm erupts with a frenzy.

Getting old ain't for the faint of heart!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Not Much in Life is Free Anymore


I went to Shoppers Drug Mart today to buy new mascara only to find out they've discontinued my brand. Probably no big deal for you people with long, luscious eyelashes. But for the eyelash-deprived who depend on a certain brand, this was a BIG deal. I can't use those big clumpy brushes the majority of the population uses - I need a comb type. Revlon made one for years, then they discontinued them. I waited for years for another company to make one, Maybelline finally did, only to discontinue them (I should have known when I kept finding it on sale).

Today, while googling, I found this website - www.well.ca. They had my mascara (and some other great stuff) and even though I wanted to order 10 I only ordered 3 (I was reminded of that Seinfeld episode where Elaine orders a case of her discontinued "sponges" and saves them for "spongeworthy" dates).

The best part is it's based in Canada (Guelph), is in Canadian funds and has FREE SHIPPING. No minimum order either. Sigh....doesn't take much to me happy does it? Check it out!